fitme Journal: mixed news

 

2 weeks ago we found out some exciting but mixed feeling news.   My husband Josh was selected for command.

 

In the military , this is a big deal…kind of like the ultimate achievement in a career of hard work.  Josh started as enlisted sailor in 1997, was selected for officer is 2001, (we met while both attending the Naval Academy) and he continues to serve in the Navy on active duty today.

 

So why the mixed feelings?

 

Well, Josh will have to leave again for another 2 years of sea duty… and it cut his shore time short by 1 year.

 

If you are new to my world, he was recently gone on and off (mostly off) for 2 years of sea duty and returned less than a year ago.

 

Honestly, I haven’t really talked about this news to many people.   Funny I am sharing now with you via this blog, but it feels helpful to write about it.

 

I am sad for my children (12, 10 and almost 2)  who will miss their dad for another 2 years.   I am sad for me for the complicated juggle of single mom life, running a growing business and team and trying to take care of all the things.  (feels selfish saying that).  I feel jealous that he can pursue the highest levels of career achievement and that I can too, but with the obligations of running and caring for our family. (feels especially selfish saying that)

 

But I feel so proud and happy for him.  I feel strong and willing to make this sacrifice of time. My kids are strong too.

 

At the end of the day military service is carried by the entire family.   The physical and emotional distance are a part of the sacrifice.

 

A strange thing happens – when you get the news of an upcoming deployment or time away… time gets short.  All of a sudden a switch flips and everything becomes both urgent to do together and a reason to put up an emotional wall.   The wall that has to be in place to function during months or years of separation.

 

I have no moral of the story or coaching moment to share.  Just sharing my real life with you… as promised when I started this blog.  My honest feelings and experience….not a highlight reel.

 

Until next time,

Christy