Fit Me Pregnancy Journal Day 97-99

Heads Up 7 Up

 

I am still in Arizona.  I fly out tomorrow.   I miss my boys and am ready to be with them.
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Yesterday was an amazing but long day…by the end of it, I had put my head down like a second grader to continue listening…but be more comfortable. For some reason that position felt good.  Arms stacked, head turned sidewise…belly between legs.

It made me think of that game from elementary school, heads up 7 up.  I think I would still like that game, but as an adult it would certainly feel different.  Trying to judge someone’s face and decide if they were the one that tapped you…

Why did they tap you?  Why didn’t they?
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What does it mean if I guess the wrong person?   Oh man, now that person thinks that I thought they tapped me.

What if they think….

I honest to God never considered the implications of this game and how it actually feels like real life social anxiety.

I think we probably waste a huge amount of time worrying about how others perceive our actions.  Sometimes we worry about the “world,” but most of the time it is a lot closer than that.  You worry about your boss, your friend, your family member, you kids, your parents.

Then that fear impacts your actions…

You stay at a job longer than you want….you don’t ask for your restaurant order to be corrected….you wait to join a program or class or certification because you think others will think something.

I’m totally guilty of this.   Yesterday I was encouraged to share my Fit Me Pregnancy program that I’m working on with midwifes and ObGyns and the first thought in my mind was that they would laugh me out of their offices.  They would “think” my program isn’t credentialed or official and that obviously they can’t share it.​​​​​​​

I realized that is why I haven’t shared it already.   But I love it and believe in the program….I know it is good….

Geeze.  Grown up heads up 7-up.

In a few weeks when the program is all done, I’m going to look at the lineup of professionals standing at the front of the room, and I am going to force myself to believe they want me…they want this program.

​​​​​​​I am going to force myself to not worry about what they might think and act anyway.

I’m telling you to hold me accountable.
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Christy