Fit Me Pregnancy Journal Day 84-85

Practicing Crazy

 

Do you ever get in anxiety spirals?  I remember the feeling clearly from when the boys were little bitty and when I was pregnant before…but it has just started coming back.

Here’s how it went down the other night.

Is the baby moving?  Wait…am I having too many Braxton hicks contractions?  I think my belly feels lower than before?  Can my uterus fall out from coughing?   What if I am in pre-term labor?  What if my cervix isn’t working?  What if it is already dilating and I don’t know?  Yup my belly looks different.  Something is wrong.

Wait….I feel like I am going to burp.  Did I give myself salmonella from tasting some uncooked brownie batter?  Yup my stomach feels weird… I’m going to throw up.   Salmonella crosses the placenta.  I’m so selfish for tasting that batter… She is too little to come out.. or fight salmonella.

And yeah.

I decided to just go to sleep and if I was really in labor or had salmonella, I would wake up.

I slept through the night.

I’m not making this up…and I really don’t get in this head space often…but if you have been there you can relate.   I don’t know if it is hormonal…. a product of mental stress….or maybe just my evolutionary mother muscles testing out their “crazy”… kind of like my Braxton Hicks contractions are practice for labor.

​​​​​​​Maybe it would have helped for Josh to be here and tell me I’m fine.  I know I could have texted a friend…but then they might have been concerned and I would have extended the spiral.

Has this ever happened to you?  Do you have good strategies when you get stuck in a spiral?

Until tomorrow.