Not Deja-vu

Good news… I found my wallet.  It was 100% a case of pregnancy brain.  It was in the top level of my center console.  Actually…Logan found it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I feel like I have been complaining too much lately.  Whining about being tired…lamenting my expanding body….pointing out all the clothes that don’t fit….blaming things on pregnancy brain.

But the other day in my garage, I had a clarity moment.  Like the opposite of deja vu…. not a familiar feeling I can’t place, but rather a startling assurance of something I will feel one day.

Years from now, I will be past the life stage of having babies.  My children will be grown.  I will remember the days I was pregnant, and marvel at the miracle of my body….I will miss it… pregnancy and its magic.  And it will be untouchable, because this gift is timely.

Life is experienced in stages….or seasons.   I will approach this season with more gratitude and awareness because it is temporary and priceless.  I have friends that are desperate to experience this season in their own life… I think of them often, but maybe I am just a little too self absorbed to let their experience inform my own….or at least my daily grind.

It is a good reminder about life in general.

In fact, if I had to create a little personal philosophy it might be to place extreme value on moments, places, people and even challenges that startle you into awareness and gratitude.

Beautiful sunsets, towering mountains, hugs from small children, holding hands, musical performances, births and even death….

And on the flip side, distance yourself from people, places, practices and routines that add to the fog….the things that cloud your days in a way that make you wake up years later and wonder how you missed it.

Social media obsessions, jobs you hate, people that make you feel bad, fixations on artificial body ideals, tv shows that steal your mind, addictions, and dogmatic beliefs that make your world smaller.

Maybe its the beautiful snow that made me feel so existential today….or maybe the more frequent kicks from this tiny baby girl in my belly.   Either way….grateful for these thoughts.

Until tomorrow.