Looking at the Ocean

I feel like I’ve been transported via space ship to a different world.

After Diesel’s loss, I spent the day with the boys.  On such a hard day, I felt so much love from our family and friends.  Thank you to everyone that sent messages.  It meant and means a lot.

That evening I packed for a pre-planned trippregnancy journal.  I tried to sleep for a few hours, but it was almost impossible because I kept replaying the difficult day.  It was also hard to sleep knowing I needed to be up at 2:15am to catch an early morning flight.

Thursday I flew from Seattle to Charlotte and then from Charlotte to Fort Lauderdale.  I took a 1 hour Uber ride from the airport to meet my group in Miami beach.

I am in Miami to work with my coach and mentor Jason Phillips.  The small group of us here this weekend are all coaches of various types.   A few times a year, I travel to meet Jason to learn how to be better.

That’s really the only way I can describe these weekends…it’s a little bit about business and nutrition and a lot about clarity.   How do I want to serve the people that come to me for support?  What kind of nutrition coach am I?  How can I help people more effectively?  How can my nutrition programs be better?  What type of impact do I want to make and how is that different from everyone else?

I guess I could say the timing of this trip is bad.   But actually I really think it is good.   I’m so grateful I was there that morning to care for Diesel and my boys.  One day later and I would’ve been on an airplane.  I’m grateful for my mom, who is with the boys this weekend.

I’m grateful to get to breathe the ocean air and see the sun.  It feels reassuring and peaceful.   I am grateful to be wide awake emotionally for this weekend.   There is a blessing in grief because it startles us out of the daily grind.  It strips away the silly worries and creates clarity.

I’m grateful to feel connected to Josh by the giant ocean between us.  We are connected by water today.

Until tomorrow…

P.S.  Flying cross country while you are pregnant is no fun.  Especially when you are drinking lots of water.  I got up to pee like 20 times.   First flight was an aisle seat and second flight was a window.   I never know which to pick, but the window was probably a poor choice.  Are you a window or aisle person???