Can’t Sleep

I am awake.  I’ve been awake since just after 1 am.
Bleh.   There is nothing wrong… and I have no real explanation for it.  I went to bed around 10pm last night, slept hard for 3 hours, woke up to pee and then….awake.

This really doesn’t happen to me all that much.   I tried to fall back to sleep for hours but my mind was just everywhere….and not even close to sleep.  So I finally gave up, started a load of laundry and decided to email you.

Just in case you missed it on facebook and instagram, last night I shared the gender of my little baby bean in my belly.   Guess this tomboy better learn how to tie some bows, because we are going to have a baby girl.

I’m going to be honest, I think it still hasn’t sunk in that there is a baby at the end of this pregnancy journey.  That probably sounds crazy.   It’s been 8 years since I had a newborn…and although my pregnancy feels very real… having a new sweet baby again feels hard to imagine.

I wonder when it will really sink in?  In June, I will meet another child I will love with my whole soul for the rest of my life.  The weight of that kind of love is overwhelming.  It’s surreal to fully understand what is ahead…but not feel it yet.

The journey to get there still feels long.  Right now, the destination seems too far away to imagine as reality…both in regards to the baby’s arrival and Josh’s return.

Until tomorrow…