I am sitting on the couch with Bonny drinking my labor kickstart tea. I drank some last night, but I guess I need more.
Over the course of this journal, I’ve told you everything under the sun. I’ve been so grateful for the outlet to share my days and feel so touched that you actually read what I write.
Yet as I wait for labor to start…I realize I’ve omitted something important. I haven’t been keeping it from you…I feel a little ashamed, but I haven’t felt it until recently.
I’m having a baby girl.
Wait… did you already know that? haha.
Maybe you did…but I don’t know that it really hit me until recently. Any day now…hopefully any hour, a tiny human will arrive in my world and kick down the walls to my collective family heart.
Josh and the boys and I will fall in love.
How do you anticipate that or even put it into words?
So yes… I am ready to “not” be pregnant. I can’t wait to take a full breath and sit-up normally and lay on my stomach. I can’t wait for Josh to come back from Virginia…and I can’t wait to see the boys with a baby sister.
But …. finally I can say… I can’t wait to meet my baby girl because I already love her.
I want to see her eyes and fingers and face. I want to examine her toes and knees and ears. I want to hear her laugh and watch her grow. I want her tears, her smiles, all of it.
I submit…I surrender…I am no longer whole without her.
I am ready to have my baby in my arms.
O.k. labor… you can start now.