It’s 5:45 am. Josh left about an hour ago to start his cross country drive to Virginia. And just like that…another page turns.
Josh will drive his truck east over the next 4 days and then will fly back home to us the minute I go into labor. If you are thinking that sounds unpredictable, you are right. Not much assurance he will make it here for the actual delivery, but we’ll see.
His time at home felt amazing. We worked on the house, the yard, went to dinner, watched movies, worked out, assembled baby items and talked. Regular life stuff. The oddest part about him leaving is knowing that when I see him again I will either be in labor or will have had our baby.
There is an odd blessing to having a life punctuated by separation and challenges. It certainly breaks up the mundane and makes you appreciate little life stuff that goes unnoticed in a standard daily rhythm.
It’s kind of like the idea that when you literally carry a heavy weight on your back, it feels so good to take it off and rest. Sitting becomes a gift. Or if you challenge your body for hours and hours, food tastes like actual restoration and replenishment. Or if you work outside in the cold and finally get a hot shower, it is priceless.
Sitting….food…showers…all normal nothingness unless paired with struggle.
When Josh returns for the baby’s arrival he will have approximately 14 days of leave at home with us. Each day will be a gift… and I am looking forward to setting down this heavy weight again. But until then, I move forward and let the weight do what any weight does…build strength.
Sorry if this sounds corny… these are literally the mental mantras that keep me going. People ask me all the time how I do it…well first…i certainly don’t do any of this alone…I have a wonderful community of supportive friends and family…but if you mean mentally…then the answer is perspective.