Color Blind

Do you look at Facebook or Instagram first thing when you wake up in the morning?

I do.  It isn’t a habit I am proud of because I don’t give myself a chance to really wake up before I let the world in.  I am quitting actually. No more checking social media first thing when I wake up.

This morning 2 pictures were on facebook feed, “on this day.”

6 years ago I posted that Josh just left on deployment.   We were living in Maryland at my mom’s.  Henry was not even 2 and Logan was not quite 4.  The picture is of Henry helping decorate the Christmas tree.

A full calendar year later, he returned from deployment.   This was the second picture in my feed.   The 3 of us, in Everett, WA welcoming him home just before Christmas.

I remember the raw feeling of both days quite vividly.  The day he left 6 years ago, I must have listened to “Colorblind” by Counting Crows like 10 times.  When he got home…well we were all so happy.

On either end of deployment, emotions win the day, but during deployment you get in a rhythm of day plus day.   A lot of those “feelings” fade… by necessity.

I’ll bet its similar to running a marathon even though I’ve never done it.  One foot in front of the other.  Not thinking too much about the finish line or what it felt like to start.  Just keep going.  Breathe and move.

Even writing this email almost messes up that rhythm.  But wanted to share my headspace with you.

Until tomorrow.