Poo Party


I hope all of the moms had a great Mother’s Day.  I think in order for me to keep a positive outlook, I probably need to re-evaluate what counts as a great Mother’s Day.

I got to spend an hour sitting on my porch with my mom.  That was nice.  My boys gave me cards they made at school and that was nice too.

Pretty much the rest of it was…well I guess for me.. normal.   After setting my intention to have a chill day, I even mentioned it in my email.  My boys decided to be impossible.  Their “to do” lists became a list of reasons to fight with mom, which culminated in them bringing down 2 hampers of dirty laundry…which wasn’t dirty at all… It was clean laundry they never put away.

Standard boy nonsense.. nothing too new.

I then completed about 3 hours of outside work.  I felt really good about it.  I push mowed and weed wacked the lawn, straightened the shop and garage gym and pulled weeds.  Success.  Almost time for some Mother’s Day chill.

About 15 min before finishing up the yard, Henry came to tell me all the toilets weren’t working and he had to go to the bathroom.  I sent him to nana’s to relieve himself and figured they must have clogged the toilet again while I was working outside.

Standard boy nonsense again…nothing too epic typically.

I went inside and momentarily forgot about the toilets.  I had a big glass of water, relaxed on my couch feeling accomplished.  Bonny cuddled with me and I felt pretty good.   I even made an instagram post about feeling capable and strong.

I would take a bath and then BBQ some hamburgers for dinner.   I got some bath salts for a baby shower gift and I rarely take time to just sit and chill… Mother’s Day is a perfect day to do it.

I walked into the bathroom and pulled back the shower curtain to find about 8 inches of scum water in my tub.  O…M…G.  The toilets.  This has never happened before.

Praying I could fix the toilets in my normal way, I got the snakes and plunger from the shop and went to work.  The upstairs toilet unclogged quickly.  But the downstairs toilet didn’t seem to clear.  I flushed it.  I know, I know…this is a rookie error but I am an eternal optimist….Well, you know what happened.

Water gurgled and began to back up further into the tub.  8 inches grew to more like 12 of nasty backwater.  The toilet filled to the brim, one millimeter shy of disaster.

For the next hour I attempted to snake, plunge and unclog.  I even wrangled a clothes hanger and tried from the tub side.  No luck.

I decided I needed to get that water out of my tub so I got a large cup and pitcher and started making trips outside…carefully as to not spill the water in my master bedroom.   I probably made 30 trips.  Around trip 8, Bonny took a flying leap off a bench into a large house plant and tipped it over spilling dirt all over the ground.

When all was done it was about 730pm.  The toilet wasn’t fixed and the plumber was scheduled.  Definitely no chill bath or burgers were happening.  Nana fed the boys so I could deal with all of this.

I wasn’t in the mood to hang out.  I watched Game of Thrones and eventually had a tuna sandwich by myself.

I hope you don’t feel sorry for me or take this email as a complaint.  I recognize a hundred ways this could be worse and honestly… I am so used to these disasters at this point…the idea of chill is almost laughable.

The irony is that Josh is great at fixing everything and will be home in less than a week…but…close doesn’t count when your tub is filled with scum water.

Until tomorrow,


P.S.  This will either make you happy or terrified.   After about 5 trips of removing water I had an idea.  I would make a giant siphon to remove the water.  Remember I am not an engineer, but I know enough from school and Josh to do random things.   I went and got all of the leftover tubing from my garden irrigation.   I went so far as to put the end in the gross tub and start running the line outside.   As I stood outside staring at the end of the tube, I knew what was next.  I put my mouth to the tube to suck and start the flow…I had to create that pressure difference.  I took one suck, then two… then stopped.  F this.  I am not about to accidentally get poo water in my mouth at 9 months pregnant.   Mission abort…back to the buckets.   Lol.