Logan was attacked at the playground at recess. The kid choked him and then punched him multiple times in the face. I guess the kid came out of nowhere and grabbed him from behind.
When I picked Logan up, he was very upset. He only wanted to talk to dad or his BJJ instructor. We went to BJJ, but Logan didn’t say much. I emailed Josh and he was able to call later in the evening and I listened in the other room as Logan talked.
He relayed the most honest human feelings. That he wished he could go back in time and do it differently. That he couldn’t think of anything in the moment. That he was frustrated that 3 years of Tae Kwon Do and 7 months of Brazilian Ju Jitsu didn’t help him. That other kids were watching. That his mind went blank. He is only 10, but he was so clear in explaining the dimensions of the experience.
My heart hurt for him. Logan is not a wimp, but he isn’t an instinctive fighter either. For better or worse, I gave him that trait. He likely didn’t see the physical aggression coming. I probably wouldn’t have either. He is a “fair fight” kind of kid.
Henry got a little more of the Campbell fire and street intuition…but either way they are children and fortunately haven’t experienced aggression like that before.
I felt a mixture of angry at this kid, frustrated for Logan and oddly calm that sometimes these things happen. One lesson Logan learned was that self defense or physical altercations in reality are not the same as sparring in class. You must practice a thousand times so that in the moment you don’t need to think.
He also learned the intense lesson of regret…wishing you could go back and redo an interaction. That very human experience will inform his future choices, for better or worse.
Yesterday was particularly hard without Josh, I didn’t want to play both rolls. I struggled to convey the message that it’s ok to fight back if something like this happens. I said it, but it didn’t help. I talked him through his emotions, but in this case, I wasn’t able to fix it.
P.S. Yes…in case you are wondering the protective mama bear in me experienced a much wider range of emotions and anger…I’ll be going into school today to express those feelings more clearly.