Like a bridge…


I have continued with my phone promise.  Every morning, I am phone free for 1 hour.   The habit is starting to stick.  Sometimes I think about getting it to listen to a podcast or something, but then I don’t.  I know that will be the beginning of the end of my promise…a slippery slope.

I am proud of sticking to this commitment, but also happy with the results.  I like my mornings better and feel a little less tossed by the waves of the world.

Did you stick to your promise?  I know a few of you commitments to yourself after my email about my phone problem.

Yesterday I had my 34 week check up.  All is well…I only have one more appointment until Josh gets home.  I have basically been using appointments to segment the time these past few months.  I have my 36 week appointment and then Josh will be here a few days later.

People have started to ask me what it will be like to have him home…good question.   It is probably a lot like you expect.   Truly a reacquaintance in a lot of ways.  Happy then awkward then anxious then restful then sometimes problematic as routines and personalities collide.

Yesterday I caught myself feeling pressure to smooth that reintegration for Josh and the boys…I was aware that I would be the bridge…I will bend and move to buffer all of them…to temper Josh’s Navy-ness and sailor mouth…to pay close attention to the boys’ emotions and needs and protect their quirks and changes.  To justify their normal naughty boy behavior…

I even felt this towards the dogs…facilitating the new dynamic.

This is my role in our family.  This is my role in a lot of settings actually.

But then I felt tired and remembered I am very pregnant.   What if I don’t have it in me to be the bridge? Maybe I need a bridge… I am different…and my hormones are preparing me for labor and birth…then we will have a new baby…and things will be different again.

I know I don’t have to, and can’t, make everything smooth for everyone around me…but it’s in my personality type to feel that need.
​​​​​​​Maybe you feel that way too sometimes.

Until tomorrow, 

P.S. I had the honor of being interviewed on another podcast.  This time I talked a lot about failing and how that shapes my path forward.  Download on your podcast app or listen directly here.  Hope you guys enjoy it!