Fit Me Pregnancy Journal Day 139-141

Resting B

 

My mood seems down.

I really can’t say why.   I think the obvious choice would be hormones.
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Circumstances don’t seem to be the culprit because we are rounding the corner for the last lap of deployment.  That is a super happy thing.

I’m also rounding the corner of the last lap of pregnancy.  That is exciting as well as a little intimidating….but mostly exciting.

Coaching is good, dogs are fine… and I feel pretty descent for 33 weeks pregnant.

My kids are being pills, but that is normal.
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So why does my mood suck?

Fortunately, even when I feel down, I operate at a pretty high level in regards to my interactions with people.   It is a gift and a good thing since I am a professional coach.

It’s more the inner dialogue that is the issue.

True honestly…. When my mood sucks, I like people a lot less.  I look at simple stuff and feel annoyed.  I look at others and myself and feel negative…pessimistic…and withdrawn.

I get resting B face on the inside.

Usually when I feel down I do a few things to snap out of it… I did exactly none of those yesterday.

Sweat.  This is my easy go to….and yesterday I didn’t workout because my body truly needed a rest and recovery day.

Change clothes….this works for me a lot….but yesterday I stayed in my sweats all day… haven’t done that in months.

Laugh…I guess I tried.  I watched an episode or two of John Oliver.  Political satire is my favorite.  But I’m not sure I laughed.

Not sure why I am telling you this other than to be honest.  I’m going to do my best to improve my mood today and it felt like the right start to email you.  I don’t think I can actually improve my hormonal balance…but I can do the other things.

I am truly grateful I rarely experience depression.  I know this is an oppressive cloud for many and I don’t want to downplay it by complaining about a few days of low mood or my “quick fixes.”

See… last paragraph was a perfect example of my current mood….I assumed you would think the worst about me and conclude I am an asshole for minimizing depression….  I didn’t like myself for complaining, and I didn’t like you for judging.   I wrote it nicely…but that’s what I was thinking.

Until tomorrow.

~Christy

P.S.  My 10,000 ft observation of bad mood Christy is that the stupid stories I tell myself gain power.  That little voice in my head gets louder.  We all have that voice.  The one that reinforces limiting beliefs about ourself and the world around us….and encourages us NOT to take action.