I’ve had a rough few nights sleep. I guess this is typical at 8 months plus pregnant, but I don’t remember it from my other pregnancies. Last night, I decided to turn the heat off completely and the house cooled way down. I slept so much better.
This morning, I could have slept for hours. I’ve been so tired lately..but at about 5:45am, a complaining bark from our 12 year old lab Daisy pulled me from my rest. This isn’t typical for her. She probably just needed to go out.
I waited in bed, trying to go back to sleep and hoping Daisy would just stop. The air felt cool and I was finally comfortable in bed…and it’s Saturday…I could sleep longer.
Every 30 seconds, in the most annoying pattern, Daisy continued. It wasn’t long before Bonny woke up. She sleeps in a crate near my bed.
I continued to lay there and wish I could go back to sleep. I looked at the empty spot next to me in bed. If Josh were here, I would totally ask him to put the dogs out so I could sleep. But he’s not here…and hasn’t been for 6 months…1 more month to go.
Bonny joined Daisy with a steady whine and whimper. Sleep was hopeless.
I finally gave up. I pulled myself out of bed, grabbed the puppy and marched towards the back door to let them out.
I turned the corner and instantly my blood boiled. Sitting on the couch at 6am was my 10 year old Logan….watching The Karate Kid and 100% completely oblivious to the dog barking 50ft away from him.
Chances are….he woke up Daisy, Daisy woke up Bonny…they both woke me up.
I can say I wasn’t my best self in that moment. I didn’t yell, but I told him I couldn’t believe he would just sit there and let the dog bark and not put her out. Why couldn’t he be considerate and help me out? Why was he awake? Why? Why? Why?
It’s not crazy for a 10 year old to wake up and watch a movie quietly by himself on a Saturday morning….it’s also not unreasonable for him to have the insight to help me either. But I was mad mostly because I was tired and probably because I missed Josh.
I don’t have parenting wisdom or some mindset truth to tell you. I just wanted to share this moment.
One of Josh’s favorite things to do is wake up really early on Saturdays. He likes to take care of dogs, get started on house projects, watch a movie with Logan…typically an 80’s movie like Karate kid…and start cooking breakfast….usually bacon.
The irony isn’t lost on me that Logan is doing a version of what Daddy does.
I miss him…we miss him.
People always tell me they don’t know how military families do it… juggle life drama, move cross country, leave their people on regular intervals…spend holidays and birthdays apart…that stuff is hard… but moments like this are harder.
It’s difficult to explain, but on behalf of all the military families or single parents out there, I wanted to try.
P.S. Bonny and Daisy are both asleep on the couch next to Logan.