Future Arm Bars


I set my alarm to get up early to write.   By early I mean during Georgia’s morning sleep interval.  But she tricked me and was awake when I woke up.  Right now her night feeding routing is approximately 8pm, 11pm, 3am, 6am, 930am….then who knows after that.   Today though, it was 6am, 7am, 8am.

So yeah….writing time was sidelined.

Having Josh home this week feels like a much needed break during a long distance run.   It feels energizing and comforting and happy.  Starting up the run again will be uncomfortable, but not as painful as starting a month ago… we will settle into our stride faster this time I think.

It’s funny to me that I use running metaphors when I am generally not a runner.   I like running, I just don’t run often.  Even when I’m not pregnant.   I’ve actually had 10 knee surgeries including 4 ACL reconstructions on my left knee.  So I don’t have much left in the way of cushion and support. Repetitive high impact tends to cause more pain than its worth for me because of arthritis.

I used to say I have a bad knee.  “I did that…but don’t forget, I have a bad knee.”  “I can’t do that …because I have a bad knee.”  “I’ll never be able to…”

So somewhere along the line I realized that my “bad knee” was just a limiting belief…  A story I was telling myself about what I could or couldn’t do.   The truth is I’ve had past surgeries, I have arthritis and some stability issues, but I don’t have a bad knee.

Believe it or not, all of the surgeries (except one), happened before I found CrossFit and weightlifting.  They were mostly during my time in the Navy.  It almost scares me to think what I would have missed had I let those surgeries determine my ability to learn something new.  I would never have met many of my closest friends or had fun strengthening and pushing my body…or maybe even found coaching.

Is my knee perfect?  Absolutely not… I’ve had setbacks.  But my past surgeries don’t get to limit my world.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, because the other night at my boys’ Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class I caught myself telling the instructor that I always wanted to learn martial arts, but I haven’t done it because I have a bad knee.

I caught myself in the old habit.  So…I’m confessing to you in this email because after I finish my postpartum healing, I am going to start BJJ a few times a week.  I want to do it because it is hard, new, uncomfortable and I have always been interested in it…all good reasons.

Do you have a thing….or a label you accept and use as a disclaimer?  What are you missing out on because of it?

Until tomorrow,


P.S.  Mindset is also something that takes practice.  Just I changed my overall outlook, doesn’t mean I don’t catch myself in old bad habits.  I just keep working on it.