Matrix of Sleep
It’s been many years since I was chronically sleep-deprived. I definitely forgot what it feels like. Even now that Georgia is sleeping a little longer, I am still getting far less than I was before. Before I got pregnant I was sleeping 8-9 hours/ night. It wasn’t even a luxury, I needed it.
I think I still need it, it’s just not possible with a 10 week old baby. Now on a good night, I get 5 hours. The interesting thing is that I am aware of the transition to functioning while feeling bad. My body takes longer to recover from workouts, my skin and face feel puffier, weight loss is slower. My mental sharpness has morphed into a dull butterknife.
It’s so bad sometimes I really don’t know if I said something out loud or just thought it. This happens all the time now and I know it’s sleep deprivation.
Sometimes, we function in a place of feeling bad because we have forgotten what it feels like to feel good. We accept things as “normal for us” and occasionally wonder if there isn’t something else wrong? Maybe genetics or hormones or aging? But sometimes, not always, it is the basics that are long gone and would make the most difference in feeling better. Water, sleep, movement, food quality and of course, self-talk. When these fall apart, we feel bad. But if those fell apart years ago, you might have felt bad for a long time.
I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be rested. I will keep scraping away for more sleep. Ironically in the course of writing this email, Georgia went back to sleep. So, I will take my own advice and try for a small nap.
Ever wonder if you are in the matrix of bad habits? You accept what’s around you as reality, but really deep down, you know you could feel better.
How many hours of sleep do you get each night?